My Choice

Today is the 40th anniversary of a surgery I had when I was 15. I am reposting this story (published about 1.5 years ago) because the choice I made helped to shape me; it is personally important that I recognize 4 decades of this significant event.

“Mom, how did you improve your posture?”, my eldest daughter asked me last week.  I looked at her and  smiled, questioning, “Did I improve my posture?”.  She said, “I don’t know, but I know you have tried over the years; improving my posture is my New year’s resolution.”  “Oh,” I said, slightly chuckling to myself.   For over 38 years I have been trying to improve my rounded shoulders, a bad habit, that I may have started because of a choice I made.

When I was eleven, my pediatrician discovered I had scoliosis; this is a medical condition in which a person’s spine curves sideways.  Often people with scoliosis are put in a back brace. My parents took me to an orthopedic surgeon who did not feel that the curve in my spine was significant enough for me to wear a brace. Over the next three years I went to a few different doctors about my scoliosis. By February of 1983, when I was 3 months shy of my 15th birthday, I was told I would definitely have to wear a back brace and possibly have an operation.

The last doctor we went to, Dr. Harrison, recommended two methods for straightening my spine. The method he felt would be most effective was a spinal fusion; a stainless steel rod would be placed along my spine and fuse my spine in a straighter position. If I chose the spinal fusion with the Harrington rod, I would be in the hospital for ten days, wear a back brace for three months, and be out of all sports for six to ten months.

The second method Dr. Harrison recommended was a Milwaukee Brace. This brace would extend from my hips to my chest, with a neck brace that would extend up the back brace (think of the girl that Joan Cusak played in Sixteen Candles). There was one catch to the second method : I would have to wear the brace for four years. At the end of the four years of wearing the Milwaukee brace, there was a good possibility I might still need an operation.

My parents allowed me to make the choice between the two methods. In 9th grade, this was the hardest decision I had ever made.  Giving me the ability to make my own decision was a very empowering gift.  I chose the surgery.

On August 17, 1983 I had the surgery to correct my spine.  I am  told I was in a lot of pain.  I remember none it, except when the nurses stood me up for the first time, and also when I was sick on the morphine I was given for pain.  After eight days in the hospital, my back brace was put on.  I went home the next day.

I wore the back brace for three months. I think this was the hardest part of the whole process. Having always been a stomach sleeper, I had a hard time sleeping for the first few weeks. The brace, made of leather and steel made my body immobile from under my arms to my hips. the only part of my torso I could relax were my shoulders, thus creating a very bad habit that I am still trying to break.

Unfortunately, the brace was screwed on.  I, who was used to taking one to two showers daily, was limited to one shower a week. Every weekend, my father would unscrew the brace, and I was allowed out of it for one hour.  I was very fortunate because many people (at the time) who had my type of surgery were not able to have their back braces off for showers. Some people had to wear their brace for six months.

Having been a competitive swimmer from age six to age fourteen, I was not used to being inactive.  After the surgery, I was not able to do any physical activity, except walking, until February 1984.  At that point Dr. Harrison said I would be able to ride a bike and swim, but “I was not to get too tired”.  By June, a month after my 16th birthday, I was given the go ahead participate in everything I enjoyed.

I will never regret the decision I made. Having been given permission to make my own choice helped me grow into the person I have become.