After reading this story, many people may decide to no longer follow Tell Me Your Story. That is your prerogative and I understand. However, please give me the courtesy of reading my story.
A storm is coming, across our land. Perhaps it is only the black clouds of anger that are encircling me. I am mad, frustrated and scared for what is happening within our country.
Everyday, during the school year, kids recite the Pledge of Allegiance; it goes like this:
“I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”
For a while now, I believe that the United States has been becoming divided and the “liberty and justice for all” is being extinguished.
Overturning a 50 year old ruling
The storm grows closer upon finding out Roe V Wade was overturned, although not surprised, I was filled with a gray sadness. I am pro-choice. For years, not engaging in conversation about this, was best for me; it’s such a divisive subject.
In college, I had (and still have) a dear friend who was (and perhaps still is) pro- life. Our differing beliefs have no influence on our friendship. Differences are what make us human. One day, years ago, this young woman came to me and said “ My mom thinks she might be pregnant. She can’t have a baby, she’s too old.” I looked at her and said: “what do you think she should do?”. The response was: “She should have an abortion.” “That’s what it means to be pro-choice”, I said with surprise. “You have the right to choose what is the best thing for you.” Granted, this was her mother she was talking about and in the end her mom wasn’t pregnant.
In my early twenties I was moving into an apartment with someone I barely knew. Before we moved in together, she wanted me to know that she was pregnant and was going to have an abortion. Not long after she told me this news, I took her to the clinic. I held the hand of my new housemate, as she lay on the table, while her pregnancy was terminated. Although I haven’t seen this friend in 21 years, that day is something we were both thinking about as Roe V Wade was overturned: she on one side of the country and me on the other. She had many good reasons to choose this course of action, but she had a CHOICE.
Ten years later, I mourned with my neighbor, another friend. She continued with a pregnancy that she knew would ultimately end with the death of her child. My heart broke as I watched this woman go from the joy of finding out she was pregnant, to the grief of knowing her baby would die. She was so strong, enduring months of sadness. Although the termination of the pregnancy was a possibility, this wasn’t something she would do. Her baby had a chromosomal disorder, Trisomy 18. My friend’s life wasn’t in danger, so she continued through with the pregnancy.
The overturning of Roe V Wade: could it lead to more human rights being overturned?
The thunder begins to rumble, as I hear the words from Justice Clarence Thomas:
“landmark high court rulings that established gay rights and contraception rights should be reconsidered now that the federal right to abortion has been revoked.” https://www.cnbc.com/2022/06/24/roe-v-wade-supreme-court-justice-thomas-says-gay-rights-rulings-open-to-be-tossed.html
Several months ago, after telling someone close to me that Roe V Wade might be overturned, I was told “Roe V Wade can’t be overturned, there are too many checks and balances”. A few weeks ago that same person apologized to me saying, “you might be right about Roe V Wade being overturned”. Today, when I mentioned that I was extremely worried about Justice Thomas’ words, this man told me the same thing about checks and balances. I reminded him he was wrong before.
Why does this upset me so much, as a cisgender, heterosexual, white woman, who is almost out of her child bearing years? I have three daughters, one of them is transgender. If these rights are taken away, what is the recourse for contraception, and for anyone to live their life in the LGBTQ community? Is a whole segment of society going to be outlawed?
If I could speak to Justice Clarence Thomas
Roe v Wade was over turned by a majority rule, this is true. However, it’s the words from Justice Thomas, that make the storms clouds swirl rapidly around me, and the earth quake under my feet. If I could speak to Justice Clarence Thomas, this is what I would say:
On the matter of abortion and contraception: Do you really think taking contraceptive rights away from a generation of women is a good idea? Let’s take a few examples….
1) rape and incest: if a woman becomes pregnant because of these atrocities she would have one of two choices: carry the baby to term or get a back alley abortion. Not everyone can afford to travel to a state where abortion is still legal.
2) medical reasons: I consulted with a doctor and found out that there are so many medical reasons to terminate (to see the full list see the note at the bottom of the story*): The top two are ectopic pregnancy and critical maternal illness. Ectopic pregnancy is seen in 1% or more of all pregnancies; it is the “Leading cause of death in the first trimester. Ectopic fetuses can have cardiac activity at time of diagnosis. Pregnancy termination to avoid death by tubal rupture and massive bleeding is an obvious, lifesaving surgery, because treatment can be severely toxic to fetus or cause miscarriage.” Critical Maternal illness the “Treatment can be severely toxic to fetus or cause miscarriage”. The over turning of Roe V Wade does not allow for so many women to have the ability to make a Choice that’s best for her family. Are you telling me a life that has not been fully formed is MORE important than the life that already is?
3) Contraception (otherwise known as birth control): if a woman’s right to contraception is taken away, how is she supposed to prevent pregnancy? Perhaps “Justice” Thomas, you mean the morning after pill, but I have a feeling you truly mean all contraceptives. Let’s go back to the morning after pill…I don’t know much about it, but it is obviously less invasive than an abortion and safer than other means a woman will go to.
When it comes to revisiting gay rights, I hear that you would like to take these liberties away. In The Declaration of Independence we are taught, as children, that “every human being has unalienable rights” among which are ” life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. If you take away these absolute rights, you will be criminalizing a population of people: men, women, children and those who don’t conform to any of those labels.
You say “gay rights”, however it unequivocally means the whole of the LGBTQ community. My child has finally, after a long struggle, come to accept and have pride in who she is. Mr. Thomas, you are not a “just” man. Haven’t you had bias against you? I don’t care what your race is, but the fact of the matter is you’re a black man. Also, I just found out that your wife is white. I don’t care about the color of your wife’s skin either, but if you decide to revisit contraception and gay rights aren’t you opening the door for the Supreme Court to “revisit” Loving vs. Virginia? It could happen, after all the ruling is 55 years old; 5 years older than Roe vs. Wade.
Words have power
To me the word CHOICE means so many things, but above all it’s this: people should be able to live life the way they want without the anger and hatred of others. It doesn’t matter to me what color or ethnicity you are. Color and ethnicity cannot be changed, neither can gender identity or sexual orientation. I believe in the freedom of religion and how one chooses to pray. What I don’t respect is when people can’t listen and hear the reasons WHY a person lives their life in the style they do.
I can’t talk with Justice Clarence Thomas, but perhaps people in this country can start by have a conversation with each other. For those of you who are still reading this story, I challenge you to take time to listen to the opinion of others. Respect and embrace the differences within our country. Our country was founded so that people could have freedom. If contraceptive and gay rights are taken away, it won’t just be a storm; it will be a hurricane, leaving devastation in its wake.
*According to the doctor I consulted there are so many medical reasons to terminate a pregnancy; these include:
“Fetal anomaly/lethal defect If the fetus has no chance of surviving must this pregnancy continue and place mother at risk?
Selective reduction Used to reduce #fetuses being carried to decrease health risk to mother and increase likelihood survival for remaining fetus
Selective termination Used to terminate one abnormal fetus while allowing the in uterine siblings to continue. Technically the woman remains pregnant
Premature Rupture of Membranes If this occurs in second trimester a live birth is highly unlikely but this carries increased risk serious infection (not necessarily imminent but eventually)
Cancer Both chemo and radiation harmful to fetus, especially/predominantly in first 3 months. Causes birth defects, fetal loss and neonates with compromised blood counts.’
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