positive thinking – Tell Me Your Story

Part 5 of An Unexpected Journey

(Unedited)

The global pandemic took the earth off its axis. People were dying from COVID, others were mourning those who they had lost. I was fortunate, nobody close to me suffered from the illness. Along with this crises many people became anxious and depressed. According to the Mayo Clinic “Worldwide surveys done in 2020 and 2021 found higher than typical levels of stress, insomnia, anxiety and depression (https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/coronavirus/in-depth/mental-health-covid-19/art-20482731). In many ways, I felt the rest of the world had caught up to my mental state from the previous year and a half. Having moved through mental distress for a long while, when my state and the rest of the country locked down, I just felt the quiet around me.

Our middle daughter stayed in extended care in Los Angeles, while the remainder of my immediate family was home. My husband and two other daughters dealt with with the stress of the pandemic in their own way. The neighborhood where we live, in the suburbs, borders on farm land; some people might say we live in the country. This location afforded the space to go on long walks almost every day. When COVID hit, we did not see Bailey (in person) for 4 months. That time was very much a respite for me. We talked with our child, on the west coast, every day and zoomed with her once a week. I was able to do things around the house that I had been putting off for years, but still stay connected to my child who was so far away. When we were finally given permission to go to California and see Bailey again, I was rested and ready to spend time with her….

Between the July 4th weekend and the end of August, in the summer of 2020, I made four trips to LA. I have many memories of that summer, but because we couldn’t spend a lot of time with Bailey (due to the treatment center’s COVID protocols) there was much time spent on my own. I walked countless miles by the water with my summer playlist strumming through my AirPods. On my walks, whether the ground was pavement or sand, the seed for this blog was planted. I would watch people. Each time I walked to Venice beach there would be a wizened woman, darkly tanned, most likely homeless, and I would wonder: ” What has led you here?”. One day, on my way to the beach beach, I was stopped by a man at the bus stop near my hotel. He was wondering why the bus hadn’t come and asked me the time. After telling him the time, he reached out and tried to give me a hug. I shrank back: did he not know there was a global pandemic? Again I thought, “What is your story?”.

The first summer trip to La La Land, was by myself. There was fear I would catch COVID on my flight, but flying during the pandemic was awesome: the planes were empty! I arrived in LA on July 3, 2020 I had a whole day ahead of me. Most of my trips between November and March had always been included a stop at The Native Spirit Lodge in Woodland Hills; my husband had discovered it on one of his trips by himself. This unique metaphysical shop became a favorite shop of mine. An old hobby, from my teenage years and early 20’s, of making beaded jewelry had been renewed. Fortunately, the lodge, which sold beads and all sorts of other items, had reopened for walk-in shopping. The traffic was light for the LA area, as many restrictions were still in place. I headed to my favorite store, had some lunch and then checked in to the hotel. During my March visit, I had decided that a place to reside in Marina del Rey would bring me joy: the location was a few blocks from the marina and a mile from the ocean.

The travel industry had changed in the months since I had been stationary: hotel rooms were cleaned and sanitized before arrival and then again after checking out. Many restaurants were closed or only open for takeout. Having traveled for so many months before the pandemic, I always stopped at a supermarket and bought food to help save money. If a bathroom was needed on a roadtrip, most likely there was one open in a grocery store or gas station (but not always).

Time with Bailey was limited. As she lived with several other girls, the fear of catching COVID, while away from the residence. was real. I know was able to spend both weekend days with Bailey, but the days that I write about are the most memorable…

The only things we could really do together were to an outdoor activity (that was not my middle child’s idea of fun) or car trips. A day on the road was the only option, but my question was: where should we drive? I was craving cooler air and a view of a lake; we spent Independence Day driving to and from the San Bernardino Mountains. The day moved pleasantly, Bailey was in a great mood and easy to talk to. Names of places, as we drove toward the mountains, were familiar. Most likely we stopped at a Jack-in-the-Box for lunch; that became a favorite take away spot, for us, that summer.

We arrived at our destination, a lakeside town, and didn’t leave the car. The amount of people was astounding! Traveling away from the lake, and up the hill, we looked down at the water. The view showed us wall to wall pontoon boats. During this day of celebration it appeared the pandemic was forgotten! Then, as we drove farther up, through the mountain neighborhoods, past beautiful houses and luxury cars, I got lost. We spotted a gaggle of teenagers, or early 20 somethings, roaming the narrow roads. Stopping the car, I asked for directions. Once we were given the new route, the young adult (at close proximity to the open window) said, “that’s a nice car”. As Bailey and I drove away, we laughed, not knowing if the compliment (on the basic rental car) was real or not, but the friendly helper seemed sincere. It was a good day!

The second trip to Los Angeles, in mid-summer of 2020, was with my husband and youngest daughter. On Saturday, with Bailey, we drove to Solvang; this was a suggestion of mine and not a great destination. When researching road-trips, it was on my list of places to visit: a “Danish village” in California. I should have known this place screamed “tourist trap”. As has been mentioned before, we only had limited time with Bailey….our drive to the not so sleepy little town took at least three hours. By the time we arrived, Solvang was not just our destination, but also that hundreds of other travelers! We had about an hour to walk around town. The day was hot, the streets were crowded, and always looming around us the thought “is anyone sick?”. My youngest daughter and I walked around more than Bailey and my husband, then it was time to head back to LA. On our long drive south, my husband said “we went all the way to a Danish town and I didn’t even get a Danish pastry!”

What I remember most about that weekend: were long walks on the beach with my 14 year old, looking for sand dollars and sea shells; a walk through the Venice canals; and vegetable Ramen. The soup needs an explanation…

…. My husband, youngest daughter and I were somewhat hungry our first night in LA, after a long day traveling. We didn’t want to walk far, as we had been up for hours, and our bodies were on east coast time. There was a strip mall, about a block from our hotel, with eateries. Not wanting something heavy, my daughter and I decided to try Venice Ramen. My significant other was not in the mood for soup, so he picked up dinner elsewhere. A table, in front of the restaurant, opened up for my daughter and me. The two of us sat, ordered our vegetable ramen, and waited for what we thought was going to be a quick meal from a ramen chain-restaurant; this was a wrong assumption. The sun was getting low in the sky, but still we sat. Our soup finally arrived and…. WOW! The “from scratch” Japanese broth, with vegetables and noodles, was worth the time we stayed watching the world go by! We still talk about this meal…

My final trip, by myself, to the City of Angeles was in mid-August. The time I spent on my own, was the same way as on past trips…a visit to The Native Spirit lodge and walking: either on the beach or around and through the marina. As I walked, happiness sprouted in me by the simplest of things: viewing the mighty Pacific when the waves rolled in, wild flowers that grew along the path, the way the sun looked as it rose in the morning…

Knowing Bailey would be coming home soon, I wanted to take a special road trip and visit something unique to the two of us. The event (per the summer of 2020 rules) had to be outside and socially distanced, yet would appeal to Bailey. In searching for places, online, I came upon the Mission San Juan Capistrano; this was about an hour drive south from the residence where my daughter lived. The mission looked like it might be a fun place visit: a story of the past, very pretty and was mostly outdoors. As promised, this lovely destination was full of history; it didn’t disappoint!

All of of the days Bailey and I had spent together during her time out west, in the year 2020, were noteworthy: we talked about many different things and and were able to be open with each other. So much had changed in the last 2 years!

The final trip to LA, in the pandemic summer, was to bring Bailey home. My husband and I flew to California on Tuesday, August 25 and returned (with our daughter) on Thursday, August 27.

I think of that summer as the “season of the sand dollars”. In the many visits to beaches, over my lifetime, I had never before found remains of these beautiful sea creatures; in the summer of 2020 there were more sand dollars than I could have imagined! Knowing there is often a symbolism behind certain phenomena, I looked up the significance of a sand dollar. The meanings surrounding this marine animals are diverse, but the one I connected with most was “a symbol of personal growth and transformation”. Although, I have always had self awareness, the time spent in therapy and on inward reflection changed me in ways I can’t describe. Despite life’s uncertainty, the ground finally felt solid beneath my feet.

To see the other parts of An Unexpected Journey, follow the links:

Part 1: https://tell-me-your-story.org/2022/08/26/the-beginning-an-unexpected-journey-part-2-of-the-summer-that-could-have-been-idyllic/.

Part 2: https://tell-me-your-story.org/2023/02/01/on-thin-ice/

Part 3: https://tell-me-your-story.org/2023/07/13/standing-at-the-edge-of-

the-world/

Part 4: https://tell-me-your-story.org/2024/06/29/the-summer-of-the-loons-the-beginning-2/

Part 5: https://tellmeyourstory369820890.wordpress.com/2024/06/30/the-little-things-prologue-2/?preview=true

Part 5, chapter 1 https://tellmeyourstory369820890.wordpress.com/2024/07/01/the-little-things-chapter-1-chasing-joy-2/?preview=true

Part 5, chapter 2 https://tell-me-your-story.org/2024/04/20/i-didnt-break-chapter-of-the-little-things/

Part 5, chapter 3 https://tellmeyourstory369820890.wordpress.com/2024/07/03/dark-days-chapter-3-of-the-little-things-2/?preview=true

Part 5, chapter 4 https://tellmeyourstory369820890.wordpress.com/2024/07/04/then-the-quiet-the-little-things-chapter-4-2/?preview=true

Other related stories:

https://tell-me-your-story.org/2022/07/23/the-trip-of-a-life-time-the-summer-

that-could-have-been-idyllic/

The Last Place I Wanted To Go…

by Joye Lange

What do you envision when you hear the word ”joy”? I envision a bright light, full of happiness. Over the last few weeks, I have learned a little about the life of Joye Lange. She has had a life full of tragedy and trauma, but a brightness seems to glow within in her. Here is Joye’s, story as told to me:

My name is Joye. I was born in Chicago in 1952, two years after my brother Larry was still-born. My parents called me their bundle of joy. Perhaps this is how they came up with my name? At birth, I fought really hard for 12 days in an incubator. Born a “blue baby”, my respiratory system wasn’t developed well at birth. I also had pulmonary hypertension from the beginning of life. The Catholic nurses in the hospital insisted that “E” be added to the end of my name, for the word extraordinary. That is how my name became Joye.

We moved to sunny Southern California in the end of 1952. I wouldn’t have lived past the age two if my folks didn’t move to a warmer part of the country. We loved living in California from the 1950’s to 1990’s. Many wonderful and crazy experiences! One fond memory of mine was having Ron Howard open the door for me at Valley College. Fun years were spent there, but I still had my share of traumas and health issues.

My little sister had an accident when she was about two and I was six. My sister got her head cut open. Our grandpa and I brought her to the doctor just in the nick of time. Also, when I was six our mother had to make a choice to save her life. Mom was pregnant, with by brother Wesley, but had tumors along with the fetus. I don’t think that my parents really wanted to terminate the pregnancy, but decided to. None of us were the same emotionally or mentally after that. My dad drank and my mother smoked cigarettes throughout my life, but after the pregnancy was terminated it was much worse; they used these things to self medicate.

When I was a little older, measles, mumps and chicken pox made me sick. Sledding a Mt. Pinos, left me with a broken foot. Then at age eleven, I was hurt when I stepped between three boys fighting near my pregnant teacher; ligaments were torn from that incident. In my teen years, I had my share of sexual abuse.

In Los Angeles, I helped hostess with the VFW2323 . On January 4, 1969, I met a wonderful guy named George at a USO Dance. He was a Canadian who joined the USMC. The corps took him to Vietnam from 1967-1970. We married in 1972. Two sons blessed us. We lost one baby, in 1977. In 1986 I had a total hysterectomy. The agony didn’t stop there. At the workplace in 1987, I was exposed to toxic chemicals. The trauma was so bad! The fact that I am still alive to talk about it makes me grateful!

Our son James (Jim) was shot in 1989, at the age of 15. He was brought back to life after dying on the operating table three times the night of his operation. Sadly, Jim died in 2013. Something happened after my son died: I dreamt of my brothers, both of them as adults. Larry, my first brother hugged me really hard before he had to go back to heaven. Wesley, looked just like my son Jason; he had long hair and was really tall. Dad said to me in the dream “see I told you he was really nice” .

We moved to northeast Ohio in 1993, where we still are today. I love everything about my experiences here! Well, almost. There were also traumatic events in the Buckeye State: My husband lost his hand in 2002. Three nervous breakdowns were suffered by me over the years (in 1989; 1998 and 2015). I have many health problems too.

My sons Jason and James Lange taken in 2013. Jason on the left is a filmmaker. James was a writer and a medical assistant. He passed in 2013.

Now at the age of 70, I am enjoying retirement. Traveling, writing and graphic designing keep me busy. In August, George and I will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary! A life lived full of ups and downs, but I wouldn’t change much. I have learned a lot over the years!