By Anonymous
I was recently at a dinner party, a 60th birthday celebration for a dear friend. There are 12 of us, in this close knit group. We range in ages from 53-64. We all met in our early 30’s in our neighbourhood. We travel together, celebrate life’s miles stones and end of the week together. We raised our children and dogs together, we hold each other through divorces and illness, sit at bed sides and bring meals when needed. We drink wine and water, margaritas and sidecars, none of us have given up the drink yet but most have slowed down our consumption substantially. We dance on tables and run or work out together at 6 am. You get the picture, it is a tight knit group of women. We adore each other and treasure our friendship.
The conversation at one point turned, as it inevitably does at this middle age, to what season of life we are living in. The birthday girl equated it to the autumn of life. We had to agree that certain body parts are falling. Colours of hair and skin are changing, like leaves we are becoming spotted with dark or streaked either by grey or the ubiquitous blond. We shared ways to combat this, red light therapy, creams, hydrogen peroxide, surgeries, lifestyle changes, sleep etc. I came home and thought “Fuck that”. Don’t get me wrong I will still use the creams and have a red light mask. But I have decided to embrace the dark circles on my cheek to life well lived in the sun.
The dark circles represent wonderful summers in the sun in Muskoka as a child and teen. Teaching swimming on the docks, sailing, water skiing, skinny dipping during the day. Winter vacations in Florida, visiting my grandparents, long walks on the beach, playing tennis with no hat. Winters skiing in the sun (with no helmet!). All these moments without sunscreen. Soaking in the vitamin D that I didn’t know existed. In fact, we would hold tin foil up to our faces and coat our bodies in oil to improve our “tan”. Which in my case, was always a burn and more freckles galore. For a while it was “cool” to coat your nose in zinc, when teaching on the dock. I probably should have done more of that as now I coat my nose with chemotherapy creams to fight the basil cell carcinoma that keeps returning. But it was worth while. And I plan to continue all those activities in the sun and more now that I am nearing the end of my 6th decade.
In fact, I am choosing to see this stage of life, not about fall at all, but yet an other spring. As the earth goes around the sun and we pass though seasons multiple times, so is my life. I have recently experienced a good degree of loss in my life. The past decade included a divorce of a 22 year marriage and the death of our family dog. More recently, in the past year I lost my father, the break up of a long term relationship with a man I loved, the loss of two more family dogs due to cancer, long before their time was due. My children have grown and moved out of the family home. A month ago I was at my lowest point. Walking through empty rooms and living with ghosts. I had gone from two years earlier, a home filled with people I loved, my own three children, two step children, two wonderful dogs and my partner of 7 years. My parents independent and well and in their own home. It was a time filled with highs and lows, laughter and love, drama and noise, forgiveness and lessons learned. Some stages of life are a season unto themselves. As I reflect, the last decade felt like autumn, many moments of beauty and warmth and full of colour with a sharp turn into a short season of winter, dark, cold and lonely with only glimpses of sun on occasion.
As we start 2026, I have a renewed hope of spring. I have a puppy. He brings me joy and love everyday. My eldest daughter is getting married and it is such a joy and honour to be a large part of this plan for her future. Although I have lost my father, I feel him with me everyday in ways that beget an other short story. As the sun beams in my back windows over my back yard of snow, I feel that I enter this next stage of life as a new beginning. I ran into a friend recently who was a widow, and was in love with a new partner. She commented at how lucky we are to experience new love again, at this stage of life. What joy! And like a teen, I feel that is yet ahead of me again. I am not in the autumn of my life but spring, and excited for what lies ahead.
Tell Me Your Story 